I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am naked and annoyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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