So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
