her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's shark week go big or go home
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
