just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home