It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.