Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.