Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life