If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
