My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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