So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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