Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
