She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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