Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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