Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
