we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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