I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
