guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
