After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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