i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
