I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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