Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
