Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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