Can Purell be used as lube?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
