I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
