Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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