i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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