This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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