Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
im on a boat
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