We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
