The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
