so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
