You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
