I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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