when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
