you traded sex for a burrito?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
