The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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