Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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