You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
