You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
