He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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