My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Do you have feelings for this penis?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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