you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize