It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize