There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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