garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
