The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
