In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
