He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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