Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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