i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
