i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
