you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
