you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize