Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
