why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
