so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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