There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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