What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
