Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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