as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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