i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
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I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
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Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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