My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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