I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
