two words: eviction party
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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