i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
