whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
