I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Drake has all the answers
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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