So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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