There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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